How To Go Raw – The Easy Way | When Your Partner Doesn’t Eat Raw
As my Scottish friend Emma says in her awesome ebook “Me Raw:You Cooked”; in theory you might think will pose a problem in your household when you decide you want to make some changes to your diet, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
So many people have learnt the hard way when they have decided they want to make diet changes whilst their partner feels left behind, because let’s face it, sharing a meal with the one you love is ingrained in who we are. We eat to celebrate many occasions from birthdays, to weddings to promotions and just to enjoy each others company or even to get to know each other on a first date.
And changing the way you share food with your loved could lead to confusion, defensiveness, arguments or just plain ignorance.
So here are some tips for those of you that are not BOTH jumping head first into a new diet regime;
- there is no reason to go all or nothing into the whole raw food diet change. As mentoned in the previous post, a 100% raw diet change is not recommended if this is something you are looking for long term. In 6 months time, you’ll still be here, so why try and do it all immediately, take baby steps and be gentle with yourself (and your partner).
- perhaps don’t announce that you are making these gradual changes to your diet, just start slowly introducing more wholefood, raw options onto your dinner menu subtley. If your partner is someone you suspect would be very open to discussing and joining you on the journey, then perhaps make a mention, but until you have some practice behind you, then maybe lead by example or just go quietly on your way, until you have a stronger foundation.r
- serve dinner in a buffet style giving everyone in the family a choice in being able to serve themselves their portions of each meal component and include a raw and cooked component. Ie raw salad and cooked pasta. By not forcing your family to each the raw meal, they are free to take their own serving and hey, if they leave it, there’s more for you later
- try and plan meals that can be adapted for raw or cooked. A good example is pasta. I usually make a cooked pasta sauce and serve it atop cooked wheat pasta for my husband and on sprialised zuchinni for me, to make a 50/50 cooked/raw meal. I’ve also made veggies burgers this way, where I baked them for my husband and dehydrated them for me, serving his on a wheat bun and mine on a lettuce or cabbage leaf with usual salad toppings.
- try and create a raw version or your partners favourite meal ie pizza or cheesecake, or better still, pick out some potential recipes you think your partner may enjoy or ask them to pick one out and make it together
- don’t try to force your new found passion onto your partner. This can be very hard to do when you are feeling great results and only want to share it with them too, but you might find they feel cornered and maybe even judged for their way of eating
- Brings me to my next point, don’t pass judgement your partner’s food choices, as it can push them further away and make them less inclined to want to sample your way of eating. It could also push them away emotionally.
- Declare one day a week raw food night, and make it fun and get your partner involved. Find out what foods they really like and incorporate them into a all or semi raw meal.
- Eating more raw food can change the way you eat ie I don’t usually eat Breakfast Lunch and Dinner the way I used to, I now eat only when hungry, and if this means that you are not hungry when your partner is, still take the time to sit with them whilst they eat their meal. It’s not the food you share but the time, so still make sure you have that time together.
- If you are just starting out eating more raw food, it’s going to be a transitional time for you, so be flexible and keep it light and enjoyable, if you remain rigid and stubborn, it will not only be bad for your relationship but also for your digestion!
- Be patient, soon enough, your partner may want some of what you are having, when they see how great you feel and look they might be more inclined to try some of your raw food, but if they don’t, don’t worry, this is your journey and if you keep the above ideas in mind it should keep you close whilst you embark on this change for the positive.
Would love to know how you handle a non raw foodie partner or family in your household! Don’t forget to comment down below
Awesome post and great tips! I really like the idea about just making gradual changes, I really wish I’d approached it from this angle rather than saying ‘Nope, that’s it, I’m going 100% raw’ haha but I guess that’s just the kind of gal I am, Act first, think later
x
Seriously though, it took time for Rod to get on board with the whole raw thing and I think part of it is just accepting that whilst you’ve understood and embraced the concept, your partner still needs time to get to where you are
Yeah I know the feeling Emma, before RAW I was definitely an all or nothing gal too, this has really helped me to change that slightly.
I am about 95% raw. I started with the green smoothies for breakfast and lunch and after 4 weeks my husband said he would not mind having them also. 13 weeks later he is still enjoying them for breakfast and lunch.
He likes his meat which I gave up 13 weeks ago. I will cook fish or tofu with my salad at night and 1 or 2 coffees a week. Other than that i am totally raw. Instead of serving meat up 6 nights a week, my husband gets it once or twice at the most. He is enjoying my salads and even admitted it does not mind the tofu. So just by leading by example he has seen me enjoy this way of life and now enjoys it also to a certain point. He will still have some toast late at night every now and then which I get angry about, but I have to remember that he can choose what he wants to put in his body. He is so much healthier than he was weeks ago.
I have 2 little kids so I still have to cook them a meal each night. They love fruit smoothies but when I tried to add a little carrot to it when they were not looking they said it tasted different and would not drink it.!! I wish they would eat more veges!
Have you tried fruit smoothies with brocolli or spinach Teniel? But it sounds like a great arrangement with your husband so far too. Well done!
Yes I love brocoli in my smoothies. Its sounds awful but its delicious. And nearly every day baby spinach goes into my smoothies along with carrot apple celery pineapple or pear, and kale or cos.
I am doing a raw challenge. I am on day 17. For 11 days of this challenge my bf was in NYC and I was on my own. I only had to cook for myself. Since he has been home he has not adapted to the raw food lifestyle like I thought he would. I am making him his own meals which is not a big deal but a lot more work. I also don’t want to throw together quick, unhealthy meals for him. I still like to prepare wholesome meals. He is very easy, he will eat anything but I don’t ever see him going raw. I will give him credit, he eats a salad with me everyday at lunch. No complaints.
That sounds very similar to me and my husband Meg, but hey it sounds like an ok arrangement for you
I think my favourite point here (amongst a myriad of wonderful points) is that it’s the time spent together that’s important, not the food. I also like how this lifestyle has enabled you to eat when you’re hungry rather than being defined by societal norms of “meal-times” – that’s how I like to be too
xox
I am new to eating raw and am learning so much from you Robyn. I have been doing green smoothie for about a month now and trying different recipes to add more raw to my diet. My 2 kids really enjoy green smoothies with the help of some chocolate almond milk. My husband just asked me the other night if I would start making him green smoothies in the morning!! I was so excited and of course my answer was yes. We still do cooked foods to but I will continue to incorporate as much raw as I can. We just love the chocolate avocado fruit dip. Thank you Robyn for all of your great tips.
Oh Sara thank you for commenting! I am excited about your husband having a green smoothie, that is awesome!
Great ideas! I do a lot of this style for my family. Stuffed pepers is a great meal where you can provide a cooked and raw option. I just made some flax crackers in the dehydrator and my partner loves them! I’m not pushy and I have learned very well over the last 4 years as I’ve transitioned back to vegetarian, vegan and now to raw to be patient and non-judgmental. The last thing people want is for someone to be dissing food as their eating it. I am a great cook, luckily none of these transistions have been much of a problem.
Good tips, thanks
I seem to swing between feeling a bit isolated, wanting to tell my partner about everything I’ve learned as I go through this transition but knowing he’s not really receptive right now and THEN feeling a bit stingy about sharing my raw goodies when I’ve put SO much time and effort in and he’d be as happy eating (vegan) pizza or any other tasty thing really (we’re already both vegan), having no appreciation of what it means to his body to be raw/wholefood and no idea about all the work I’ve put into my creations. I know his body will benefit but I’m putting in all the work and already have a busy life! It’s a tough line to tread, because he actually likes food and cooking, but like alot of people who are not overly unhealthy, he doesn’t see the appeal in being raw. It’s such a different world, we are completely socialised to accept supermarket food and an incredibly imbalanced diet as our norm. Frustrations!!!
End rant.